Starting Conversations: Getting Your Ducks in a Row

Talking about the end of our life can feel taboo. But the fact is that we all will be in that stage of life at some point. Having a plan, or at least making our wishes known, can make a better end-of-life experience for yourself and your loved ones. These discussions can be extremely helpful in identifying what we want and do not want through the different stages of our lives.

If you are having trouble getting this conversation started, that is okay. This can be a tricky topic to approach. Try asking yourself or a loved one some of the questions below to help get the conversation flowing.

Questions to consider

• What does quality of life mean to me? Do you want to focus on reducing symptoms, being comfortable, living longer with the risk of side effects, being around loved ones, or something else?
• If my time were short, what would a good day look like? Spending time with family and friends, fighting for a cure with my care team, reducing symptoms and being comfortable, etc.
• What do I need to do to get my affairs in order? Consider finances, personal property, relationships, and pets. Also consider who you would like to make decisions on your behalf if you become unable to do so.
• What worries me most about the future?
• What do I want to happen to my body? Do I want to be an organ donor? Do I want a memorial service?
• If my plan A is not possible, what is my plan B?

Starting conversations

Communication is key in receiving the care you and your loved ones want. Everyone may be in a different place when it comes to starting these conversations and these conversations may look different for each person.

Legal documents and services

There are services and legal documents available for end-of-life planning. An advanced directive is also known as a living will. This is a document that outlines a person’s wishes and preferences for medical treatment if they cannot make decisions for themselves.

Power of attorney

It is important to find a loved one you trust to make medical decisions for you if a time comes when you cannot make them for yourself.

Let's have an open conversation

Talking with others about their experience having similar conversations can also be helpful in approaching end-of-life topics. Share your thoughts or read others' perspectives about starting these conversations.